Love's an excuse to get hurt and to hurt

I hate to write when I am feeling all emo and sad. Which I know is backwards and people use writing for therapy. I am bad at this. I am bad at sharing when I am anything but happy or angry with others. If it is something I have to work out myself I keep it to myself. Sit in the dark and listen to things like Placebo and Bright Eyes. Keep trying to tell myself that I don't suffer from SAD but it always gets this way in February. And I also need to remember that people are good and that I am not burdening anyone for being in a crappy mood.



Speaking of February. Who was the fucking GENIUS who put a holiday like Valentine's Day in the middle of a month where everyone falls into a funk anyway? Is it to weed out the weak? Well fucking done Hallmark.

*reading over the Wikipedia page on Valentine's Day it looks like it is really this way due to people being dumb and not knowing how to read*


So about more about me, since this after all MY blog and I can do whatever the fuck I want here. This year February has brought me one death and one relapse due to drug addiction, my entire work like turned on it's ear, a two week long back ache, a killer fight at home (to start my joyous holiday referenced above), my car mirror being ripped off and subsequent annoyance of getting this resolved.

It's only the 18th. Thankfully it is February so we only have 10 days left. Who ever thought of THAT is pure 100% ACTUAL GENIUS.

The blog title is from "Lover I Don't Have to Love" by Bright Eyes.

Because Conor Oberst is my #1 emo day crush


Mostly this song...

Yeah, I am going to discuss religion.

I am not religious. Yes, it's odd to start with this statement but I feel like I should because of my next.

I am going straight to Hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200.



Why?

There are many reasons. Most Catholics with tell you that it is just the fact I do not repent for my sins and fail to believe in "God" or follow the word of Jesus. Personally I think you should have to do more than SAY you follow someone's words or that this all powerful entity is in control of your life and actions. You are in control of your destiny.


This brings me to my # 1 reason I am going to Hell. Just the fact that I THINK I am in control of my destiny makes me pretty much a Satanist to many people. But this is only because most of what people who READ know about Satanism is what Anton LeVey wrote about Satanism. If you don't believe in God in the Catholic sense you can't believe in Satan. Therefore making Satanists just really Anti-Catholics. Modern Satanism is really just being a selfish prick and doing whatever you want. Which I also fully support.


I work in a office with MANY very religious people. Openly religious. Which I think is fine. But would they feel the same if I was just as open about my anti-religion stance. Not likely. Which goes against the acceptance and forgiveness that is the pillar of most religion.

These are where the problems in religion are.

That said I think faith is very important. Mostly faith in one's self. I also think being spiritual is very important. But if you are going to say you are something know what it is. Know what is before you tell me where I will be spending eternity.


Yeah I read too much. I was a kid who spent too much time in the library. I also still find Theology exciting and super interesting.

The other reason I am going to hell? That time I decapitated the statue of the pope at a friend's funeral.