Each day gets more and more like the last day

So I am bored at work and have to delete text messages since it is ALWAYS full. I wanted to document this conversation between my friend Michelle and I at The Used show last month before and during The Almost's set.



I am "L" She is "M"
(there was a couple from her before this that were sent to Nikki who was next to me in the balcony, Michelle was on the floor. And yes we are mean)

L: ONLY THEY UNDERSTAND MY PAIN
L: I think that just made everyone around you think you are totally crazy now
M: Whatever they just don't understand me!! Fuck them!
L: DAMN THE MAN!!! ps. does the blonde dude next to you have a mullet or just bad hair?
M: They'll be upset when they read about how lame they are in my blog. I'll of course be cutting myself while I write so I can capture the essence of my rage
M: bad hair
L: WhatEVER I AM A TRUE ARTIST AND WRITE MY WORD ON PAPER.....
L: ....IN MY BLOOD!!!!
M: Omg this girl standing near me is wearing the beaded-fringed moccasin-style p-shoes. So bad.
L: That is just wron (I had been drinking)
M: Well I guess she's a rebel and she don't care which shoes are for home and for going out. she says "Fuck shoes. I'm going out shoeless."
L: I like the thought of conformity better than the thought of ringworm
M: There is an inordinate amount of p-shoes down here, point of fact... I'm scared. I need an adult (Michelle is in her early 30's)

(at this point the young boys standing near Michelle notice she keeps looking up at us and start waving, they chat. The first band is over and The Almost is about to be on)

L: See we are helping you make friends hahaa
M: I have enough underaged friends
L: You and me both
M: Good god fucking knuckleheads
M: the little ones with the mohawk & the pretty blond hair are like 10
M: I gotta say I'm not impressed with this band
L: I am totally amazed by the dance off going on in front on you (and there totally was it was kind of awesome)
M: This kid in front of me looks like Vanilla Ice
L: THAT is the one you need to hit on
M: That's enough, Nickleback
L: I stopped paying attention like 4 song ago
M: Totally
M: He sounds like the singer from firehouse--could he find his love of a lifetime and shut up


Needless to say we were NOT fond of The Almost.

Not the usual light hearted fare

Today is Transgender Day of Rememberance

11 years ago my good friend Rita was murdered in her home. It was the most horrible and tragic thing I still have had to live through. I still remember it like it was yesterday. The sadness but also the amazing support our little artist community gave her family at a time that was so much more difficult than everyone had ever imagined they would ever had experience.

I still want to curl up and cry when I think about that day, waking up to the news, not being able to drive the short 10 minute drive to work without pulling over about 4 times. Getting to work and it hitting me like a ton of bricks. Breaking down and leaving. The days that followed were a blur. News cameras covering almost every minute.

The thing is this person has still yet to be caught. Rita was very up front with who she was and was never concerned about what others thought of her choices. This person was someone she had let into her home in a friendly gesture to hang out after the local bar was closed.

Even before this I was the kind of person who never judged a person on first appearances. I was raised that way. I should really thank my parents more for this, I will this weekend in my weekly phone calls. (Since I wrote this earlier I have since called them and done this, they were both a little confused but thankful)

I know I rarely get serious on this journal, I try not to ever push my beliefs on people. But this is different. Even as time goes by I can still hear her laugh and smell her perfume. Rita was a presence to be reckoned with, amazing in life that this all is a perfect way to make sure she continued this way.

It was uphill BOTH ways

I am old. Some days I feel older than others. Lately the weather is KILLING me and about a week ago I was on the couch for an entire day because my ankle hurt so bad I could barely walk. I started a VERY different blog that day that was just bitchy and mean. Maybe we will save that one to finish another day.

Today is not that day. Today we will start my first regular blog posting (that will come as I think of things to add, not on a regular basis)

Things I am WAAAAY too old for

1. Mosh Pits

Over the summer I went to Warped Tour with my cousin. She is 22. We had a GREAT day, we danced and screamed and got sun burnt. It was MY first Warped Tour and it was all I expected it to be.

I also got BEATEN... all day.

This hit a high during Aiden's set. They were the ONE band I didn't want to miss. I got to the stage 2-3 people from front and center. I should have known better. I tried to find video of it. They all cut off before it really starts (search Aiden Scavengers of the Damned Uniondale). Wil, the singer, decides at this point in the set that EVERYONE needs to crowd surf. GRRREEEAT.

I am short, barely 5'2", and not sturdy. A constant stream of people hitting my neck and shoulders is not good. Luckily for me I have also over the year perfected the "duck, cover and BACK THE FUCK UP" move. I got out of my perfect spot FAST. It was 3/4 through the set so I was ok with this.
Because this new "Wall of Death" thing happened. Who thought of this?

Now here is when we come to present. Friday I saw The Used. From safely in my seat in the Balcony I saw this "Wall of Death" again. From above, safely away, this LOOKS awesome. The crowd is separated by the singers orders, the minions obey, then as the song kicks in they CHARGE at each other. I found a pretty good video of this (not from the show I was at)




In my younger years I was in MANY mosh pits. Then that whole Nu-Metal thing happened and Ya-dudes started going to shows and thinking pits where an excuse to beat the crap out of people and feel up chicks. The latter was always the case, but I digress. This is when it stopped being fun. Then time went on.... and I got too old to deal.


Never to old to go to a rock show, I'll just stand by the bar with the parents and act like a fool.

People Like You are Why People Like Me Exist

We all hate things. Some things we passionately hate, with every fiber of our being. Over time I have realized there are many things I hate that people ADORE. I have not written here for some time and what better to write about than hate.

I am a very angry/bitter person.

But I love categories!!!

MOVIES!

Trainspotting

Junkies are not funny. That is really all I SHOULD have to say here but it is never enough

When I saw Trainspotting for the first time it was the mid-nineties, I want to say 1997. I had lived in Boston for almost 2 years. I was in my early 20's. I lived with a junkie for the entire time and had just thrown them out of my house. I was still living with a small time drug dealer. (This all sounds MUCH more sordid than it is.)

Everyone RAVED about this movie. The poster was ALREADY on everyone's wall, replacing the Pulp Fiction one if Uma Thurman on the floor smoking (you know the one, don't pretend). I recall it asked me to choose things.

I choose to think this movie SUCKS. The only good things it did was launch Ewan McGregor and Danny Boyle's careers (even if "Shallow Grave" should have and was an AMAZING film).

Danny Boyle now has an Oscar and Ewan McGregor is one of the better actors of our time.

"A Life Less Ordinary" was better than this. I do love when Ewan sings, but that is another post.

Didn't I just mention....

Quintin Tarintino

I don't care if I spelled his name wrong. I tried.

Over-rated pompous ASS.

Most important filmakers of our time.... Reservoir Dogs.... turned independent film on to ALL OF THE WORLD!!!! BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!!

His movies are not that good. They are basically remakes of 20 movies made 20 years ago that he made into one OMG BRILLIANT SCRIPT. Robert Redford brought indie film to everyone's attention with a small movie fest called Sundance. You may have heard of it? It happens in the the mountains of UT, small little thing, easy to overlook. Redford is also just cooler in general.

But shouldn't have to explain that.

Back to Indie Darling Q. I worked in a video store. BEST JOB EVER. Not that place to dis the Big Q. Boys and movies geeks LOVE him. Support him to the death. I had to be strong.

So I put Killing Zoe on my picks shelf noting "the best thing Tarentino ever touched"

It is. He produced it.

Which I support him doing. Just don't make me listen to your voice, look at your face, watch your movies or FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WATCH YOU ACT.

(I have not seen Inglorious Basterds, I will I am sure. Even though I am morally opposed to both QT and war movies. And also don't dig Eli Roth.)

OK. NEXT!!!!!

MUSIC!

Led Zepplin

I grew up in a small Massachusetts town. We partied in the wood, drank Natty Light, smoked A LOT of weed. And listened to classic rock.

I hate Led Zepplin. I know I shouldn't but I do. I will instantly love you if you do too. I just find them VERY annoying and don't like ONE of their songs.

Yet I love Styx. That could really explain everything.

TV!

Lost

I understand it is THE BEST SHOW EVER. (Which in it's self is wrong since that is either Freaks and Geeks or Buffy but I digress...)

I just can't do it. I tried. The hottness of Ian Somerhalder was not enough (and doesn't he pretty much die in the first few episodes, what a waste). I hate figuring things out, I like black and white, cut and dry. Simple.

That is not even right. I just don't like things to be overly complicated. I like smart, I like mystery. But I hated the X-Files except when they had episodes that went off the conspiracy story line. The black and white Cher one? Some of the best TV ever. Yet I am not a fan.

Like Led Zepplin it makes no sense why I hate Lost. From an outside perspective I should. Just a small town girl... oh wait...

Part of the problem not the solution

So as some people may be aware I work as a Customer Service Rep at a company that may rhyme with BomBast. I KNOW you all hate them and I KNOW all the other things you are going to say. And no I can not give you things for free.

People are nasty. I know cable is expensive. I paid (a lot) for it once upon a time. But REALLY! Is it so important that you need to threaten my life and well being because of it?

I have had my life and the life of my never to be born children threatened. People who hope I lose MY job so I know "what it is like"

It usually goes like this...

Annoying Customer: It is ridiculous how much I pay for cable
Me: well, your monthly bill also includes your internet and phone
AC: IT'S TOO MUCH AND YOUS PEOPLE ARE HORRIBLE TO YOUR CUSTOMERS AND I DESERVE A DISCOUNT FOR NO REASON WHAT SO EVER GIVE ME ONE NOW!!!!!
Me: currently you have a discount already in a bundle promo that gives you about $50-60 off the regular rates of the services
AC: I NEED MORE. THERE ARE OPTIONS NOW. DON'T YOU VALUE ME AS YOUR CUSTOMER???!!
(I do need to point out that usually the customer is talking in a tone that does require I use all caps)
Me: What would you like to have for service?
AC: Exactly what I have now
Me: What we can do is look into another bundle that would reduce the cost but would not
A interrupting C: I DON'T WANT TO TAKE AWAY ANYTHING I NEED ALL THE PAY CHANNELS AND HOW CAN MY CHILDREN LIVE WITH OUT NOGGIN???!!
Me: Then the pricing you have is the best for you.
AC: THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE. YOU KNOW IN THESE ECONOMIC TIMES YOU THING YOU WOULD CARE ABOUT YOUR CUSTOMERS.
Me: We do that is why we can downgrade service into another promo
AC: CABLE IS SRS BUSINESS AND THAT OTHER COMPANY WANTS MY BUSINESS AND THEY CARE.


And it goes like this EVERY day. Aren't you excited I decided to share?

Things I would like to tell people and don't:
You can spend time with your children
Read a book
Learn that the phase "Yous people" makes you sound ignorant
Look up the word "promotion" in the dictionary
Get a job at the cable company, that is what I did the last time I lost my job.
Go outside it's a beautiful day

Also I hate that fucking "I Love College" song

seriously, it has to be one of the stupider songs ever written.

Why do people like this crap?

Slacker Bitch

So anyway...

Where was I?

Oh right I suck.


Tonight was the second time in a month I avoided being in a semi-serious car accident on I-93.

The night of Dana's bachlorette party I saw a taxi spin out and a newspaper truck slam into the side of the taxi. I had to swerve to not hit them. It was 4 AM and I had been awake for 22 hours. It was a little shocking, but I was TIRED and amazed that I did not hit them in my extreme exhaustion.

Tonight on my way home from work. Coming onto the the highway. Traffic was backed up at 10:30 at night since IT IS BOSTON AND THERE IS ALWAYS TRAFFIC. So I am coming onto the highway on the on ramp and the people in front of me come to a DEAD STOP. I stopped a little short but not tire squealing short. The guy behind me does the same. The JACKASS behind him SQUEAL SMASH right into him. I hear it then look in my rear view and see jackass's car blocking the on ramp since now their car is SIDEWAYS. I didn't stop, since I really had nothing to do with it, didn't see anything, and was TIRED (again). I felt a little bad, still do. But what good would I be REALLY? Besides being a cranky tired bitch (which I am QUITE excellent at)

My big concern is that this is like a "Final Destination" sort of thing and it is only time before the Angel/Demon of Car Accidents catches up with me.

I love my Teenage Dork Machine. No one can hurt her.



me and my car in I think 2005, such an odd photo

I am bad at being a girl

TWO ENTRIES IN A WEEK!! Try not to die of excitement.


Today was Feeney's birthday. We went to Denny's for breakfast/lunch and saw a double feature(or our own making not the theater's)

We saw "Fast & Furious" and "Crank:High Voltage" and yes we wanted to see them.

You see we love action movies. Love to watch people drive fast cars, shoot guns and blow shit up. I would rather see the latest disaster flick than romcom. The world is going to end! I AM THERE!

While telling people of this plan, if they don't know me very well, it may be a bit shocking. Then I realized for possibly the millionth time in my life I SUCK at being a girl.

Before the movies and after food I bought comics.


When I am depressed or upset I will want to watch a slasher movie. When I worked at the video store this was fun. I could walk over and just grab something like "Splatter Dead" (which is TERRIBLE) bring it home and have my troubles hacked away bloody blow by ax wielding blow. It's comforting to know something so simple can cure all.


The last time I was in a killer pissed off mood I went and saw "Let the Right One In" this was magical. They had the blood I expect in a vampire movie. But since the girl in me sometimes peeks around the corner to make sure everything is safe I loved the fact that there was a little romance mixed in. Say what you will this was a love/friendship story more than anything else.



My movie watching habits are just part of it. The part that sparked this rant. For most of my teen years I had more guy friends than girl friends. Its been stated more than once that I "didn't count as a girl" by more than one of them. It wasn't until very recently that I looked around me and found a group of truly amazing women in my life. Friends I have made over the years in one way or another.

Now, I can be as girly as the next female. I love make up and still get all weak kneed over a hot boy (as seen right here in this blog). So I guess if I was a dude I would be very gay.



Jason Statham is BAD ASS!

Seriously...

I am the worst blogger EVER. I need to be better. I need to write more, I need to write again. Not just Twitter.

The fact is I see my life as uneventful.

I work, two jobs even. I could talk about them things happen there. Both revolve around interacting with people. One over the phone and one face to face.

But do I want to talk about how amazing entitled the world is? How people are crazy rude over the phone (my last call today was ended by a customer telling me to " Shut up, go to hell. Fuck You." and I WISH I was joking) but so very pleasant when you serve them food. And I doubt that is because I put mascara on for the latter.

I go to rock shows, A LOT. Hence the second job. I can fangirl like a pro. But really how OLD AM I?

There is another thing. I am turning 35 in 6 weeks (or so). Not pleased. This is causing me to have a bit of an identity crisis, and not in a cool New York Dolls kind of way (see OLD, who makes New York Dolls references?)

So I am going to start to try. Talk about stupid things. Talk about smart things maybe time to time.

For now I will leave it at that.